is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
