we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
