if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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