he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
