I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
