So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
