I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
