Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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