Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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