Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
