I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
