I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
