It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
