So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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