I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
