where does the pee come out of this thing
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
