Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
either way he was missing a nipple.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
