At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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