I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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