whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
