I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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