i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
