he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Enjoy the penises
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
