How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
