I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
