what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
