Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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