Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
