At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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