He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
