ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
