it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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