Ambien. No doubt about it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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