Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You smell like stripper and shame
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
