I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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