So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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