Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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