I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
