At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
