so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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