God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
