I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
