I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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