i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
