Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
