Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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