I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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