my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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