There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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