Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
